Muppet Cake

For many years, I lived far far away from HusbandM (he was BoyfriendM at the time), in a land called New York.  BoyfriendM was very frightened by New York (who wouldn't be?  It's fucking nuts there).  Obviously I had no issues being there because I lived in a great big palace with a moat and a huge gate.  It was awesome being Princess of New York, but on weekends I traveled to visit BoyfriendM, since he was terrified of the lands and people I ruled.

One particular weekend several years ago, I traveled to my fancypants vacation home (read: BoyfriendM's rental on the Lake).  I really couldn't tell you what we did that evening, only that at about 11 PM, BoyfriendM decided that he wanted cake.

You see, BoyfriendM didn't like living on his own at all.  He had to cook and clean for himself, and his abilities were limited to breakfast (if you ever want the most amazing eggs and pancakes, come visit).  I, on the other hand, being Princess of New York, was catered to on a daily basis while at the castle.  I have to say, I very much enjoyed it, especially when they brought the chinese food to my room on Thursday nights.

In order to keep my Princess head level, I pretended to be domestic when visiting BoyfriendM.  It was a humbling experience for me, and BoyfriendM enjoyed eating real food.  So when BoyfriendM decided that he needed cake at 11 o'clock at night, I grabbed a box of Betty Crocker and set to work. 

Of course, in the meantime, BoyfriendM decided he was extremely tired and HAD to go to bed.

REALLY?  I'm cooking you cake.  I don't even LIKE cake.  But I kept on my bad baking self.

The next thing I remember, I was in a very dark kitchen, trying to remove cake from their baking vessels by the light of the moon.  Why by the light of the moon?  Well there wasn't a kitchen specific light, and turning on the main light in the open concept vacation house would have woken up the lightest. sleeper. ever. (aka BoyfriendM).

It was probably due to the fact that it was the middle of the night at this point, but I had forgotten that trying to make cake when it's still hot doesn't work as well as one might have hoped.  In removing the cake from their vessels, I ended up breaking my fantastic chocolate creations... But no worries, my fabulous blog readers, chocolate icing is the glue that makes the world go round.

So I patched together my cake, trying to make it look all Martha-like.  But as I patched it together, more bits and pieces of hot chocolate cake started to crumble off.  Now most mothers, bakers and various intelligent people would be screaming a chorus of "DUH" at me, but that's ok because I still had plenty of chocolate icing to glue my cake back together.

While I was busy gluing, BoyfriendM was woken by the intense chocolate smell emanating from the kitchen.  I still was icing by the light of the moon, and I'm pretty sure that BoyfriendM would have been unthrilled if I turned on the light even at that point.  The following conversation ensued:

BoyfriendM: CAKE?!
GirlfriendC: Almost, sweetie... I sort of messed it up...
BoyfriendM: OH NO!  What did you do?
GirlfriendC: Well it keeps falling apart.  But that's ok because I'm gluing it back together.
BoyfriendM: [pause] Gluing it?
GirlfriendC: It's just not going to be pretty.  It looks like a muppet made it with big funny furry hands and zero dexterity.

I finally finished the gluing the cake together and cut BoyfriendM a huge piece.  Apparently muppet cake is the BEST. CAKE. EVER.

Of course, I've never been able to replicate it....